


Merry Christmas, I could care less

by MeanderingMotivation



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Christmas fail, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Past Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeanderingMotivation/pseuds/MeanderingMotivation
Summary: Claude’s never been one for Christmas, Dimitri tries to understand why. One thing is for certain though, he’ll always be there to support his boyfriend.ALTERNATIVELY:The less-than-festive fic I meant to be Christmassy that turned into something else entirely.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Merry Christmas, I could care less

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to anyone reading!
> 
> This is my first foray into the Fire Emblem fandom. I just managed to complete my first play-through in between exams and work, and now that the holidays are here, I was excited to write a fic for my favourite pair from the game! Never thought I’d end up shipping Dimitri and Claude, but here I am :)
> 
> A little forewarning:
> 
> Although there’s a lot of fluff in this short fic, it’s more of an anti-Christmas story than anything. I wanted to write something more festive but my overall cynicism with the year and what’s been happening in the world won out. 
> 
> Guess I’m a bit of a scrooge! 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you derive some form of joy from this :D
> 
> (Title borrowed from a lyric on a Fall Out Boy song)

* * *

Usually, Claude is the one who is encouraging Dimitri to be cheerful.

Him, and his incessant good humour, warm laughter, and twinkling green eyes.

His mere presence was a balm to Dimitri’s (often) restless soul, and he’d come to rely on the tanned male greatly for this, as irksome as he found it to be so dependent on another soul…

His bright beams. His eager embraces. The way he seemed so confident, but still couldn’t help but flush whenever Dimitri surprised him by initiating affection.

Claude was a wealth of high-spirits and sweet-temper. He seldom became frustrated, or cross, and Dimitri could count the amount of times he’d seen his boyfriend truly angry on one hand, which was _truly_ impressive, considering they’d known each other since high school…

And yet, once a year, when Christmas time came around…

That chirpiness seemed to disappear, replaced with something refrained and brooding. It was plain unnatural to see Claude in such a state, and yet…

Dimitri had never been as talented as cheering people up as Claude had, and he found it rather difficult to return the favour. Even his best efforts always seemed to fall flat, although Claude had never lashed out in anger, like Dimitri had been guilty of in the past…

Which meant that Dimitri had no choice but to be unwaveringly patient. It wasn’t because he owed Claude (although he did) or that he felt obligated (once again, he did, but that wasn’t all) or that he _needed_ to do it, for his own benefit… (perhaps partially)

He _wanted_ to do it. Because he loved Claude, and a day without a smile from the man was a day he felt wasn’t worth living.

(“That’s a little dramatic, Dima,”) Claude had said once, when Dimitri had told him this, in a fit of frustration. (“I’m not worth all of that fuss. But…I kinda love you for adoring me so much…”)

He tried his hardest to pull Claude from his not-quite depression. To be honest, Dimitri was unsure of what to call it, as it wasn’t an all-encompassing sadness, but rather-

Well, when he’d swallowed his pride enough to speak with Hilda about it (Dimitri loathed the idea of someone else knowing Claude better than him) the woman had said, sipping on a cocktail in the bar they had hastily met up in… (“Oh you’re just worried about _that?_ Sweetie, don’t worry. Claude’s just a Grinch. He always has been.”)

A Grinch. The term seemed too ridiculous to apply to Claude, and yet, the more Dimitri observed him, and his terse mannerisms and general aversion to anything Christmas related…

“You are what…in colloquial terms at this time of season…” Dimitri trailed off, reluctant to continue as Claude finished slamming the door in the face of a group of carollers.

“Hmm?” Claude hummed, ignoring the sound of muffled protests from outside, as he rounds on his boyfriend with a bemused expression. “Are you trying to be _down with the kids_ again?”

“That was one time!” Dimitri huffed. “I just wanted to know what _woke_ meant…”

“You’re twenty two, Dima, not seventy eight. You don’t need to worry if you don’t know all of the slang. I like you just as you are.”

Damn it. Now it was even harder for Dimitri to call him a-

“There’s still some leftover birthday cake left. Wanna eat it and binge some Netflix?”

Ah. Dimitri’s birthday. An affair he preferred to be quiet and intimate, which usually spiralled out of control due to Sylvain and his reckless party planning. At least he’d gotten most of the evening alone with Claude this year, even if his friends were a little annoyed at being ditched early…

_Who cares if he’s a little grumpy around Christmas. I’m a little grumpy **a lot of the time** , and he never holds it against me. _

“Sure.”

“Great! I can’t wait to cuddle with my _sexy boyfriend~”_

* * *

“Ugh, it’s suggesting me all of this festive nonsense.”

A half hour later, and the pair were wrapped up together in a cosy blanket, cups of steaming hot chocolate before them. It was all so grossly domestic and lovey-dovey, only-

“Why don’t we watch one? You’ve always liked children’s films.”

“Not _Christmas themed_ ones. The blatant commercialism and pandering is enough to make me feel queasy.”

Dimitri couldn’t help but snort. “Claude, I’ve seen you sit through some of the most _vapid_ and poorly-plotted animated movies over the years-“

“How many times do I have to tell you that _The Emperor’s New Groove_ isn’t that bad…”

“The Emoji Movie?”

“…I have no defence for that. Wish I could get that hour and twenty six minutes back…”

“We could have been making love…”

“Babe, please don’t use the phrase ‘making love’ in correlation with The Emoji Movie. _Please.”_

“We could have been!”

“Why the sudden obsession with Christmas themed films?” Claude inquired, with a raised eyebrow. “I’ve never heard you protest about them before…”

“Well, I just thought, if you were going to select an animated movie, it could, maybe, be-“

“If you want to that badly, fine,” despite Claude giving in, there’s a sort of tension to his jaw that suggests he really isn’t happy about it. Bizarre, for his usually accommodating boyfriend. “I’m pretty tired, anyway. I might just take a nap…” When Claude begins to disentangle himself from Dimitri’s arms, the man blurts, unbidden-

“Grinch.”

Claude doesn’t pause. “Yeah, you can watch that if you want. I really don’t care…”

“No.” Dimitri shakes his head, and reaches out to grasp Claude’s hand gently. “I was calling _you_ a grinch.”

“Oh.” Claude seems miffed, which usually would have made Dimitri grin. It’s hard to stun Claude.

But he only hurries to continue, not wanting to confuse his boyfriend, “We’ve been lovers since we were seventeen, Claude-“

“Lovers is a bit formal, but sure-“

“And every year, without fail, your disposition sours, _at Christmas._ I usually don’t mind, but I’m beginning to get a little concerned. It isn’t like you to be so unhappy…”

“Dimitri-“

“No, you listen to me. Whenever I get depressed, or have another episode, you’re always there for me. Supporting me. You’ve _never given up on me_ , even when I’ve given you cause to hate me. Your tenacity is one of the things I love about you, and I’d be a selfish son of a bitch to ignore your suffering. **_I love you,_** Claude, and I’m not going to relent until you tell me why you hate the holiday season so much!” The speech had turned a little more passionate at the end than Dimitri would have liked, the calmness fading in the face of his sheer determination.

Claude sighs at the fiery look in Dimitri’s eyes, and runs a hand through his brown locks. There’s a sort of weariness there, like he’d known this outburst had to have come eventually.

Considering how well Claude seems to know him, Dimitri wouldn’t be surprised if the man had the exact time and date written down somewhere. He was a master at preparations and predictions. 

“Is there any chance I can kiss you, and we can forget all about this?”

“Tempting, but no.”

Another sigh. “I thought so. You and your virtuous way of thinking. You could have had a blow-job, and instead you chose an unpleasant conversation. You sure are something else, Dima.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that later.”

“Wow. _Someone’s_ confident. Not that I mind, I’ve always liked your-“

“Claude,” Dimitri interjected, dryly. “You know how when I try to change the subject on a topic, and you bring me back with some kind of remark about you _knowing_ me, and that you won’t be led off course?”

“You mean like yesterday, when you wouldn’t admit that you didn’t like the watch Ingrid got you for your birthday-“

_“Claude.”_

The growl was enough to make Claude fall silent, although he did so reluctantly.

_I guess I have to go for the big guns, now._ “Do you trust me?”

**Do you trust me?** It was usually Claude’s last ditch effort to get Dimitri to open up, and now, his boyfriend was using it against him.

“Reverse uno card.” Claude murmured, miserably. He knew his boyfriend had won. “Yes, Dimitri, I trust you. You’re the only person in this world I implicitly trust.”

Dimitri allows the feeling of flattery and contentment for a moment, before soldiering on. “Then please be honest with me. Why do you-“

“-morph into a fictional green character who enjoys sucking the life from Christmas?”

“-detest the holidays so much?” Dimitri finishes, valiantly.

Claude is no coward, but he still takes a moment to pause before answering. He fidgets with the edge of the blanket, takes a sip of his tepid hot chocolate, before collapsing against his boyfriend in a dejected manner, resigned to his fate of sincerity on the topic. “I don’t like talking about it. It makes me sound like an entitled brat…”

“Well, I know you aren’t, so that’s no excuse.” Despite his stern words, Dimitri grasps Claude’s fidgeting hand, gently. “Please tell me. You know I’d never judge you.”

“It’s just….it’s just such a fake holiday.” The words don’t come easily, but once they’re out, Claude is continuing in a rush of emotion. “Cheer and charity, _once a year_. I mean, why can’t people be kind to one another all year round? Why do they need the excuse of a holiday season? It pisses me off that they need some fictional Christmas character to feel inclined towards generosity and tolerance. And don’t get me _started_ on the commercialisation. Gifts, decorations, stupid pop songs that they play on repeat even _before_ December arrives. Then there’s families that don’t speak all year round, but feel obligated to meet up just for the sake of Christmas, even when they clearly resent one another-“

_Ah. That sounds a little like my family._ But Dimitri doesn’t feel offended. He’s happy, happy that Claude is confiding in him. Judging by the way he’s talking, he’s felt like this for some time, and now that an outlet has been provided-

“-the churchy types who preach tolerance and love for Christmas, but would give us a nasty glare on the street if we so much as even _held hands_ -“

_I can agree with him there._

“-even worse, the people who get their panties in a wad any time someone says _Happy Holidays_ , instead of _Merry Christmas_. I’m sorry, are we supposed to ignore the fact that not _everybody_ jerks off to the idea of a bearded man who sneaks through windows-“

_A little too far, maybe._

“-war on Christmas? More like war on your blatant intolerance and ugly Christmas sweater, _Karen-_ “

_Should I stop him? Or wait for him to run out of steam?_

“But what I hate the most are people who veil their intolerance for once a year, so they can feel the _true spirit of Christmas._ It’s so much crueller, than just being upfront all of the time.” Claude speaks as if with experience, and Dimitri realises they are reaching the crux of the issue.

“Did something happen?” His voice is soft, and supportive. “When you were younger?”

Claude had spoken of his childhood in the past, so perhaps Dimitri should have realised sooner wherein the issue lied. It had taken a while for them both to open up about their younger years, but Claude had long confided in him the issues he had faced growing up.

Neither of them had had the pleasant sort of ‘conventional’ upbringing that some of their more fortunate friends had, and although they’d resolved to move on from it, sometimes…

Sometimes past emotions were brought up, and posed a problem. This was usually more in Dimitri’s case than Claude’s, but clearly-

“At every other time of year, the other kids made fun of me because of my skin tone. Because of my accent. Because my father wasn’t the same race as my mother, and even people ‘ _like’_ my father didn’t like me, because I wasn’t the same. I didn’t fit in _anywhere.”_

It simultaneously hurt, and enraged, Dimitri to know anyone had _the nerve_ to bully his boyfriend. It had been hard to imagine, when they’d met as teenagers, that the confident Claude had ever been _unsure_ of himself, but it was clear he’d overcome a lot of personal difficulties to first fake, and then _genuinely_ , become confident. “This was before you met Hilda, right?”

“I only really made proper friends when I was shipped off to boarding school. Before that my _parents_ were my best friends,” Claude cringes at this. “And they just kept telling me to stop being a spoiled brat, and grow a pair.”

“That’s _horrible_.”

Claude shrugged. “It’s what I needed to hear. I had to be happy about our new opportunity, I was _lucky._ If they hadn’t pulled my ass into line, I might have ended up as some destructive, entitled delinquent.”

“Claude…our professors _did_ call you a delinquent.”

“A few harmless pranks didn’t make me a delinquent!”

“You made Felix beat the snot out of Sylvain.”

“Only because he thought Sylvain was the one who put those ribbons in his hair!”

“Remember when Hubert gave you a black-eye?”

“Edelgard _laughed_ when I dyed her hair white! She liked it so much she kept the style!”

“We’re getting off track. Continue. Please?” Dimitri rubs his thumb over Claude’s pulse point, enjoys how steady it throbs under his ministrations.

“Can’t let me off the hook, can you?” Claude commented, wryly.

“I know all your tricks.”

“Well, there’s a few I _mightn’t_ have shown you yet…” Claude’s free hand splays firmly across Dimitri’s lap, and the man is forced to ~~maddeningly~~ bat it away. 

_“Claude.”_

Claude sighed, defeatedly. “Before boarding school, before Hilda and Leonie and Lysithea, Raphael Ignatz and even _Lorenz_ …the only time I got to hang out with other kids was Christmas. They were always too distracted with toys and sweets to remember to pick on me, so I got a little taste of what it was like to be included. It always made me feel worse, when New Years was over and they were back to teasing me about my hair or how my packed lunches looked…”

Dimitri frowned. “If I’d known you as a child-“

“You would have protected my honour? My prince charming?”

Dimitri felt his face heat up. Claude’s nicknames had always been ludicrous, but sadly (for him) the ‘prince charming’ one (coined apparently for Dimitri’s sense of honour and virtue) had stood the test of time, and his boyfriend used it quite regularly, enjoying how thoroughly it embarrassed Dimitri, even after all of their time together. “I certainly wouldn’t have tolerated such bigotry-“

“Yeah. I’m sure you would have intimidated them, goldilocks.”

“A-at the very least I wouldn’t have let you play alone! And I’m sure Sylvain, Ingrid and Felix would have been there! Glenn too, depending on when this took place-“

“Calm down, babe,” Claude cracked a grin, leaning against Dimitri’s broad shoulder with a laugh. “I’m just messing with you. I know you would have been my friend. Bet you would have held my hand and everything, as well, yeah? Made snow angels with me? Oh, you would have _definitely_ developed a complex, when you befriended Dedue as well-“

“Complex?”

“White saviour. A beautiful blond haired, blue-eyed prince, skin as white as snow, saving all of the little brown kids from persecution-“

“Claude! That’s positively repulsive!” Dimitri knew his boyfriend was only joking, but the idea was abhorrent to him. “Please, even in jest, don’t refer to yourself-“

“I saw the hidden ugliness of the holiday when I was too young. Saw past all of the twinkling lights and glistening hams. It’s turned me into a horrible grouch around Christmas,” Claude’s voice is tight, as he admits this. “I’m so sorry, Dima. I know you’ve always loved Christmas. Can you please forgive me? I’ll try harder, I promise.”

From joking to startlingly sincere in a single breath, Claude is a bundle of contradictions. Keeping up with him has never been easy, but Dimitri won’t complain. He knows it hasn’t been simple with him, either. They both required a bit of effort at times. “There’s nothing to forgive,” he said, softly, after a short moment of thought. He wanted to be as precise as possible in his wording, let Claude know that a holiday would _never_ be more important than his well-being or feelings. “Claude, you don’t need to be ashamed about your _feelings,_ nor do you need to invalidate them for my sake. I’d rather forsake the holidays _entirely_ than have you unhappy.”

“But…you _love_ Christmas. Even though you and Edelgard don’t always get along, and your step-mother doesn’t really like me that much-“

“All the more reason to cancel it! That’s it: Christmas is **_cancelled_**.” Dimitri says this with the utmost satisfaction, and Claude’s contrition and guilt turns into mirth.

“Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd…are you being part of _cancel culture?”_ Claude gave a breath of faux outrage.

“Can you quit with the jokes for a moment, please?” Despite his determination to remain serious, Dimitri can feel his lips upturning. Claude could make even the most dour of people laugh (and Ingrid, who despite her overall severity could not for the life of her keep a straight face whenever Claude was doing an impression of Dimitri) “I’m being _genuine._ If Christmas makes you so bitterly retrospective, let’s skip it entirely! No obligatory Christmas lunch with my family, no spending hours shopping for gifts, no being subjected to the sight of Dorothea and Petra kissing underneath the mistletoe…” Sure, the two were sweet, but Dorothea had a wandering hand, and Dimitri would rather be kissing his _own_ boyfriend, than be stuck at some Christmas Eve bash socialising… “None of that rock-hard pudding you hate so much…”

“Sold.” Claude spoke up, flatly. “You had me at ‘rock-hard’, which isn’t something _entirely_ new…”

Dimitri felt a surge of relief, and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Although…I _may_ miss watching Sylvain trying to corner Felix under a mistletoe. You think we could go to the one party?”

“Can we leave early?”

“ _Ohhhhh_ , I see how it is. That keen to do a little bit of smooching yourself, prince charming? I guess I _am_ pretty irresistible…”

“At the risk of inflating your ego, I must admit _I do_ think about making out with you most of the time we have to socialise with others.”

“Is it really okay though?” Claude shifts in his spot, so that he’s fully facing Dimitri. He lifts a hand, and pushes the hair out of Dimitri’s face. Dimitri leans into the touch. “I know you have fond memories of Christmas as a child. I wouldn’t want to disrupt that…”

“The only Christmases that matter are the ones **_I’ll spend with you._** Whether we’re suffering through carollers, or we’re pelting them with snow.”

“That’s…surprisingly sweet of you, Dima. But I think we should avoid throwing snow at children…”

“So the parents are fair game?”

Claude knew Dimitri was too upstanding a citizen to do such a thing, but the mental image was still rather amusing. Even so…

His heart felt uncomfortably full. Fit to burst. His issues with Christmas had been eating at him for a while, but he’d wanted to spare Dimitri’s feelings…

Once again, he’d underestimated how stubborn his boyfriend could be. He took no prisoners when it came to calling Claude on his bullshit. “I love you.” He said. “And I’m going to find a way to make missing Christmas up to you…”

“Oh really?” Dimitri drawled, as Claude wriggled in close again, laying his head against his shoulder.

“Of course! And I’m going to have _lots_ of time to do it, as well. This ‘fuck Christmas’ thing has _really_ opened up our schedule…”

“A Fuck Free Christmas. It has a nice ring to it. Catchy.” For the first time, Dimitri fully relaxed into the lounge, his former anxiety melting away. When it came to Claude, they could work out _anything_ together.

“Well,” Claude mused, his hand sneaking back onto Dimitri’s lap, and slipping underneath the blanket. “Not _entirely_ fuck free.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Admittedly this fic is all over the place and was written in one hasty sitting. I didn't take much time to edit it, either, but I hope it was at least a little enjoyable. I also hope that my interpretation of their characters wasn't too far off. I head-canon Claude as super sassy! 
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment if you would like, but no pressure to do so :D 
> 
> Regardless of what you're celebrating right now, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, or nothing at all, I hope you're having a good time and that you all have a wonderful New Years.


End file.
